1. Kera - 16-year-old junior demon - all genders  "I should probably warn you, I’m stronger than I look. Unlike other junior demons, my bite is bigger than my bark. (Beat) Go ahead and laugh, but just know that I can SLAUGHTER you. (Cheery) So, are we going to do this the easy way, or the hard way? Hand over the amulet!

  1. Solomon 30-50’s - underdog hero

    But we need to remember why we do what we do. And today the stakes are even higher. Earth is gone. It's not coming back and nothing we do today is going to change that. But one thing we can do is get revenge. And you better believe we're showing this sleezebag humanity isn't dead because we're still alive. This isn't about hope, or faith, or even about winning. Kinzie's right, those things died on Earth. This is about will.

  1. Luca - 6-year-old puppy

    Wait a second, I have a better idea. If we all combined our energy mass and sycronize our movements and the camera will catch our motion! Then we howl at the top of our lungs and our humans will HAVE to come get us! I mean, they can’t just leave us here!!

  1. Lara - 40-year-old badass warrior

    "I don’t know what you want Sergeant. Just like your wife - I can’t READ your mind… probably why she divorced you in the first place (knife is thrown at her - EFFORTS) Geez, I’m sorry. Crossed a line. But seriously… grow a pair would you and make a damn decision."

  1. Denjon (30-60's) M/F Villian, annoyed, unhinged

"You all just gotta talk smack about what I want huh? It’s revenge, this. Protect my family, that. Save my stupid kitty. Blah, blah, blah. You think your big fancy ass goals make you all hot shit. Then prove it! We’ll have a dream battle royale right now. If I murderize you then this will be settled.

  1. Aubrey (30’s-40’s, practical mother, embarrassed)

"He asked me what I did for a living and I showed him my children! My children! Who am I?! The worse part is, it's not like they're even that cute! I mean they're sloppy and loud and annoying and took 12 years out of my life and ughhh (starts crying) I just love them so much!! I need an uber stat.

  1. Samantha (12-year-old American girl doll) 

Where am I? Oh, it’s a garage sale. Why am I being sold at a garage sale? Oh no, she doesn’t love me anymore, a sad old 1920's American girl doll?! How was I to know BARBIES would make a come back?! Doesn't anyone love Samantha anymore?! I mean I'm the richest one for gosh sakes!

  1. Seth 30's-40's bartender, usually high on weed, rough/raspy voice

"So what's it like to be in a healthy marriage? Is that cool? It just gets better and happier? And the sex is actually GOOD. Okay, now I know you're just lying. Monogamy's overrated man. everyone knows that." 

  1.   Leno - 30's-80s; wise mentor 

   "I was fighting before you were born kid. And I’ve seen my share of troubles and let me tell you, you can outlast them. They want you to give up, they want you to crumble. They think you are desperate and weak, but don’t be disenchanted, you can still rise from the ashes. You are a phoenix, do not wither!

  1. Andy (20’s, sly, charming guy you want to slap)

      Hey Tara, I was thinkin' ... we should go on a date. Like not a real date, just like a, let's get some drinks, probably too much, get a little crazy, (cough) hook up a little, eat some Wendy's, I mean, who doesn't like a few JBC's amiright? Maybe take a quick 

  1. Kina (30-40 yr old bear, warm, nurturing maternal type, caretaker)

      Sweetheart, you can do this, it's only a few yards. I'm letting go of your hand now. Four paws on the ground, don't forget your backpack! Come on little bear, whiskers up, show them you don't need your mama, you CAN go to class without me! 

  1. Amelia (mid 20's- mid 40's - mid Atlantic) 

    We don’t do birthday cakes, we don’t do pinata things, we create experiences so the unsuspecting will give us their money. We’re like the supervillians Robin Hoods darling of the Jet Sets.

  1.   Fran 40's - F/M - New York, Alex bornstein type

      "You know what I'm really sick of? Another straight white dude who went to Harvard trying to tell me I don't belong here. you know what? This is my fucking town. YOU SIR don't belong here. So get your bagel and get your little picture in front of miss liberty and get the hell out of here!

  1. Jared 30's-40's M - Police officer training cadets 

      "Don't waste your miracle on your pain, you here me? Look, you're going to feel powerful because your armed and you got a badge and flashing lights - but you're not God. One irrational nobody, one bullet, one slit of the wrist is all it takes. I need you to act like your life MATTERS because it does."

    15. Savannah - 30's - 60's mother, telling her kid what's up

      "Oh no! I'm a 26-year-old privileged girl and I finally have to pay for my own health insurance! What am I ever going to do?!" GET A JOB MOLLY. That's what you're going to do. You're going to pay for your cell phone bill. You're going to pack up your clothes, and you're going to RUN FREE! LORD HELP US!

  1. Fleur - Young French puppy

"Oh no! Mon dieux! My little human took zee wrong turn! Someone help me! My human needs me! However will they get their co-dependent needs met?! I am her only emotional support!" 

   17. Morgan 18-year-old high school student, bold, independent

"Can we cut the crap?! You were never actually going to ask me to prom were you? No, it was all just a little game to you and the other assholes you call your friends. You know what? Jokes on you. Assholes are out, if you haven't noticed. The school's gonna' find out what you did, and you'll cancelled. Then you'll wish you would've GENUINELY asked me in the first place. 

  18.  Jessica/James 30's - lonely widow. 

I'm numb. My heart hurts without him/her. I can't feel anything in my body. How am I supposed to be a good parent when I can't even wash my hair?! Help my God. Help me learn how to breathe again, give me strength and peace to go on. 


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